I'm E.T.

I changed my URL

from grumpdiary ————> extraterrestrialgirl

Anonymous asked: Fuck him! And her too for that matter!! You are gorgeous and you deserve to be loved. You WILL be loved.

Oh, thanks… Idk. I can’t tho, you know? She’s my only other friend other than Auds. I’d rather be treated not-so-well than be alone.

1 month ago

(Source: dolmenmusic, via boundunbound)

1 month ago -

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1 month ago -

1336

I like how no one even cares when they’re happy

Oh yeah, you go on ahead being all stupid and cute with your dumb boyfriend and I’ll just sit here in my bed contemplating my blades

You know I am too, but eh, you’re too involved with your love affair to even think about stopping me

Then you’ll scold me for dragging them across my arms in rage that I literally have no support, no one who truly cares

and you’ll say you care, and that he cares. Oh, you do? But not even a sixteenth as much as you care about each other.

It’s sick. You’re happy now. Oh, not because of him? BULLSHIT. Fucking bullshit. I was happy because of him. Momentarily. Fuck you. Fuck me. I obviously didn’t deserve it. That’s why it was ripped from my hands and placed into yours.

I’m not even contemplating anymore. There’s no one to stop me. No one cares. I don’t deserve happy, I don’t even deserve pleasure. That’s why I can’t even feel it anymore. It’s just a tingly wave of numb all over. I prefer the numb.

I prefer to lie to you about how “well” I am too. Just like you lie to yourself about your source of happiness. You don’t deserve the truth. Just like I don’t deserve happiness. Just like I don’t deserve pleasure. I just deserve the pain and suffering that’s so constant.

Oh how I wish I was worthy of love and happiness and pleasure. But I am just a little mollusk, a squishy little slug. I don’t deserve shit. I deserve a bucket of salt. That’s all.

1 month ago